Travis turned 9 months. Keane turned 26 months. I could finally fit into a sleeveless dress without looking swollen and fat.
I know it’s not a big deal to some mommies who can easily fit into their pre pregnant clothes but for me it’s a big deal! Such a joyous matter that it was enough to plaster a huge grin on my face for the entire day!
A month (and for many months) after giving birth to Travis, I was upset with how many body looked. I wasn’t exactly depressed but it did make me to feel really down. Especially when people asked if I was preggers still.
For the first time ever in my life, I decided to change my diet. It’s not drastic, lah. Just a tiny tweak. I ate lesser carbs like rice and if I do, it’s about 8 spoons? But I ate a lot more protein and veg. I do still eat my junk food like chips and ice cream but in moderation, if you’ll like to know. And most importantly I guess is having oats for lunch. I was terrified of oats since young cos my mom, the food terrorist, made really awful oat drink for breakfast in lower primary. The oats didn’t melt and would just float in pieces around the milk. Argh bad memories. So anyway, now I thank overnight oats! And if I want to play cheat, I would make a sausage or stir fry some meat to go with my plain oats.
Also, I think I’m always on the move these days taking care of the two kids. They really keep me on my toes literally. Thinking back, i probably started to put on weight when I work in an office (desk bound jobs really make one fat and that’s why gym memberships probably sell best to this group of ppl)
I even bought all sorts of exercise stuff and Shapewear. I had a gym ball, skipping rope, some other stretchy rope thingy, and an exercise bike. I still wish I have time to do all that but these months it’s a little difficult cos the kids keep waking up before I go to bed.
Please please let me lose more weight. I feel so much more better physically and mentally when I know I look good. I was never fat since young. Always the “slender”, “skinny” one so its a real shock when my pregnancy weight shot up to 70kg even though I wasn’t pigging out!
On the other hand, after this whole post natal weight gain thing, I realised that the dress sizes are really just numbers. Last time I’ll just pick out the smallest sizes pre pregnancy, and post pregnancy, I’ll opt for the largest naturally thinking I’m still big and fat. But yesterday I went to h&m and OMG, I could fit into a size 34 and also a size 40! Ok find it depends on the cutting…. But the point is I could still fit into size 34 when I thought all hopes on gaining back my figure is lost in the deep blue ocean! Now I’m even more motivated to lose more weight healthily of course. I’m not sure if the flabby skin on my tummy will disappear but I’ll be super satisfied if my arms look slim again! Then I’ll have more clothes options!
I guess at the end of the day, I’m elated with all these weight loss because I do want to feel normal again. I was pregnant when Keane turned 8 months. So it feels like my life took a 360 degree change with the kids and it bears no resemblance to my old life. Ive just been taking care of the kids since 2014. Doing the same thing over and over again. What I’m seeking now is familiarity to things I’ve been doing before the kids. So activities like going for mani, hair cuts, shopping makes me super duper happy. I can practically feel myself glowing as I walk through the mall or run my errands. It’s the feeling that yes I’m still alive and I’m doing my own stuff. Not my kids’ stuff.
By the way, I don’t own a weighing scale yet. I’m in a huge denial. My aim is to get back my pre wedding weight if it’s that even remotely possibly after 2 kids.